Merindui mu..

Kak Zana,

Aneh sebab im writing to someone who no longer belong here in this world. But you always belongs in my heart.

Pemergian mu, terlampau banyak sangat things change in my life. Kak Zana pergi dengan meninggalkan impak terhadap Hana. Jujur, Hana rasa kehilangan. Sunyi. Tak ramai tahu how connected we were.

Banyak sangat perkara untuk dikongsi tapi tak ada siapa Hana dapat kongsikan. Tried so hard to find your replacement.  But I failed.

Asim? Memang tempat Hana luahkan. He is perfect. Betul kata Kak Zana ‘hang pi kenai hati budi dia. Pasti hang akan jatuh cinta. Caye la cakap Kak Zana’. Tapi of coz tak boleh replace you sebab dia bukan perempuan! Haha.

Hana still ingat that one last warm tight hug from you.. I spend the whole day melayan kerenah Kak Zana. We talked. We laughed. We even cried. I remembered how scared you were. Tapi Kak Zana kuat dan semangat demi suami dan anak anak. I salute you for that. You cried because you cant cry infront of them. You cried because you loves them.

Sayang betul aku kat adik aku sorang ni’.

I swear, sepanjang Kak Zana sakit sekali pun Hana tak pernah menangis. Even Hana marah bila ada yang visit Kak Zana diorang menangis bagai nak rak!. But on that particular day, I cried out so hard because I know its very near…

Jangan nangis. Tolong Kak Zana tengokkan diorang k. Hang jaga diri jaga asim jaga anak anak. Kak Zana tak lama dah..’

And you fell in a deep sleep…

Dua jam terakhir sebelum Kak Zana pergi selamanya, we spend time together. I wasnt there di saat  Kak Zana pergi. Keluarga Kak Zana keutamaan. Panggilan yang dinanti Hana terima awal sebelum Subuh. You left us 1hour after I visited you at the ward.

No more pain for you sister.. rest well..

Nangis macam mana pun, you wont be here by my side. Allah loves you more.

Its too emotional whenever you cross my mind.

You thought me about life. You thought me to be strong as a wife and mother. I thank you you for that. Ya Allah, rindunya. Teramat!. Terlampau banyak memori indah nangis melalak happy bersama. Sukar dipadamkan.

Terima kasih pada Allah yang meminjamkan sahabat dan kakak sebaik Kak Zana.

In between two places, there will be one beautiful garden at the end of the road. Ill search for you there”.

Al-fatihah Kak Zana

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